Characters:
Jess Fletcher – Detective, 5'9” or taller
Matt – detective's trainee, 5'9” or taller
Daniel – Vera's son, 30-40 y.o., 5'8” or taller
Irena – caregiver, any age, some accent, a short woman 5'5” or shorter
A corpse of an old woman Mrs. Vera Rich
Scene 1: At the Crime scene.
Jess and Matt enter Mrs. Vera's bedroom. She is lying in bed on her back with her mouth open wide.
Matt steps in front of Jess, turns to him, blocking their approach to the bed.
Matt
This here is a no-brainer. I'll prove to you in two seconds that it was an accident.
Jess
Go ahead.
Matt
A stick-on glow-in-the-dark star fell from the ceiling into the lady's
open mouth and she choked on it in her sleep. Observe ...
Matt grabs a chair, stands on it, takes a string out of his pocket and holds one end of it to the spot on the ceiling where the murderous star used to be. The string drops down in a straight line into Vera's mouth.
Matt
See! Straight line. Case closed.
Jess
Hmm. Seems rather improbable.
Matt gets down from the chair. Jess bends over the corpse, looking into Vera's mouth.
Matt
Yeah, but that's what Sherlock Holmes himself said, the improbable is the truth!
Jess
It's only a part of what he said.
Matt
What was the other part?
Jess
When you've eliminated the impossible.
Matt
Ok, well, I've done that! If the star wasn't directly above the victim's mouth, that would have been impossible!
Jess too climbs up on the chair and examines the spot where the star used to be. He takes a photo of it with his cellphone.
Jess
Evidence bag.
Jess holds the little plastic bag open under another star and carefully pries it loose with a pocket knife. The star falls in the bag. Jess takes another picture of the spot where he peeled it from. Then he gently tags at couple of more stars, shakes his head.
Jess
Those stars are not loose by any means.
Matt
Yeah, well, you never know with them stupid things. They look well stuck, and then stuff comes crashing down in the middle of the night.
Jess steps down from the chair.
Jess
These stars don't have to hold any weight.
Matt
Neither do those little round thingies you put on the kitchen cabinets' doors so they don't go bang! Why do they fall off then?
Jess
I'd guess your kitchen cabinets are greasy.
Matt (offended)
I cleaned them till they were squeaky clean! I'm not an idiot!
I bet this old lady had the heat cranked up every night which loosened the stars.
Jess
Doesn't feel too warm in the room.
Matt
Maybe whoever found the body turned the heat down, to keep the corpse fresher for us, or to save electricity.
Jess (shaking his head)
This was not an accident, this was murder.
Matt
Come on! We don't need this extra work! Not with the de-funding the police situation!
Jess
No worries. If I can't solve the case by dinner time I'll let you write it off as an accident.
Let's go talk to the witnesses.
Jess and Matt walk out of the room and proceed to the living room where Irena and Daniel were waiting for them.
Jess
I am so sorry for your loss. We would like to ask you both some questions one at a time. Is there a room we can use for that?
Irena
There is a guest bedroom slash office.
Jess
Great. Please show us the way.
(turns to Daniel)
Please wait here, it shouldn't take long.
They walk into the guest bedroom/office. It has a futon that's folded up for sitting on, and a desk with a chair. Jess and Irena sit on the couch, Matt sits down in a chair, turns on his cellphone to record.
Jess
What's your name and what is your relationship to the deceased?
Irena (sniffling as if after crying)
I am Irena, Vera's caregiver. I am here full-time, nights too, because she wakes up in pain or to pee.
Jess
When do you sleep?
Irena
I sleep when she sleeps. When she needs me she pushes a button - a doorbell I stuck to her headboard, and it's loud enough to wake me.
Jess
Did she ring for you last night?
Irena
No. Maybe it's my fault, maybe she did and I slept through it.
Irena starts crying.
Jess
It's not your fault. What time did you go to check on her?
Irena (still crying)
The moment I woke up, at 6. I woke up suddenly and felt something was wrong. So I ran to her room.
Jess
I am so very sorry. It must have been horrible for you.
Irena
So I called Daniel, her son, right away, and he came back as fast as he could, and then he called the police.
Jess
Does he live here?
Irena
Yes, but he spends many nights at his girlfriend's place.
Jess
Describe what you all did the night before.
Irena
It was a very nice evening. Daniel bought a cake, and we all had tea and played scrabble. Then we put Vera to bed. Daniel left, I drank more tea and read a book until I fell asleep.
Jess
Must have been a boring book?
Irena
No, it was a very fun book. I think I got sleepy from eating too much cake.
Jess
Does it happen often that you fall asleep reading?
Irena
Sometimes. But only when I read in bed. I don't recall last time I fell asleep reading on the couch. Not while working here.
Jess gave Matt a significant glance.
Jess
Did you make the tea last night?
Irena
I did the first pot, and then Daniel made the next.
Jess
Did you give Vera her medications last night?
Irena
Yes, I always do, it is my job.
Jess
Does she take sleeping pills?
Irena
Just one. I make sure she eats it – I ask her to open her mouth to show me.
Jess
Why is that?
Irena
Because one time she asked me to let her keep the bottle, and I said no. I don't trust her with those pills or the pain killers. They are addicting, bad for her. Her doctor said I have to make sure that she only takes what's prescribed and no more.
Jess
What are pain killers for?
Irena
She has … had very bad arthritis in her back and her legs.
Jess
What else was wrong with her health?
Irena
What wasn't! But the worst thing is, she was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's and I was very sad for her, and also that I won't be able to keep working here because she has to go to a nursing home soon.
Jess
Between you and Daniel, couldn't you keep her home?
Irena
He is very sweet, a very good son, he would like to. But he cannot be stuck here 24-7 to help me lift her up. I can't lift her by myself.
Jess
Who put those stars up for her above her bed?
Irena
I did. Vera asked me to do that, she wanted to look up and see the night sky above her. It was a big pain. I had to get a step ladder from the shed to do it, because I'm not tall enough to do it standing on a chair.
Jess gave Matt another significant look, at which Matt shrugged his shoulders, rounded his eyes and shook his head, as if saying, I don't get it, so what.
Jess
Would you say you pressed hard on the stars?
Irena (starts crying again)
Ohh, no! It's all my fault, if I only pressed harder!
Matt (giving Jess a significant look)
So you didn't press hard?
Irena
Oi, I don't know. Maybe not hard enough. I was too nervous being so high up on the ladder, I wanted to be done fast. It's all my fault...
Jess
It's not your fault dear. Stop punishing yourself. This is not your fault.
Matt, tell Vera's son to come in here, then go with Vera to the kitchen and get the teapot.
Matt and Irena walk out. Jess walks over to the bookcase, looks at the books. He notices a lot of Agatha Christie and other mysteries.
Daniel comes in. Jess invites him to sit down on the futon.
Jess
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Daniel
Thank you.
Jess
My name is Jess Fletcher -
Daniel (mumbles)
Like in Murder She Wrote -
Jess
What?
Daniel
Jessica Fletcher was the detective in Murder She Wrote. Mom loved that show.
Jess
That's a funny coincidence, I guess.
Daniel
Have you seen the show?
Jess
I watched it with my grandpa when I was a kid.
Daniel
Is that when you decided you wanted to be a detective?
Jess
Mysteries were always my favorite; Sherlock Holmes, Hercule Poirot -
Daniel
Which detective was your role model?
Jess
Monk. But I'm definitely not as OCD.
Daniel
Yeah, I remember Monk, my mom loved that show as well.
This sad accident must be quite boring for you.
Jess
Not at all. I'm not sure it's an accident.
Daniel
Really? What else could it possibly be?
Jess
That's what I'm here to find out.
Matt walks in carrying a teapot.
Daniel (angrily)
What are you doing with that?
Jess
We are going to have to borrow it for a day or two.
Daniel
Why?
Jess
Standard procedure.
Daniel
Please be very careful with it! It's vintage and my mom's favorite!
It has sentimental value for me!
Jess
We promise to take good care of it.
Daniel (grumbling angrily)
You should be solving real crimes. I see on Nextdoor Neighbor a car gets stolen almost every night. The taxpayers' dollars would be better spent if you looked for those cars.
Jess
We have someone working those cases as we speak.
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Daniel
No.
Jess
Did your mom have any relatives?
Daniel
No.
Jess
What time did you leave here last night?
Daniel
About 9 pm.
Jess
Where were you between then and when you came here this morning?
Daniel
I was at my girlfriend's.
Jess
Were you there the whole time? Did you step out for any reason? Like to go to a store, to have a cigarette?
Daniel (angrily)
I didn't go anywhere, and I don't smoke!
Jess
Please calm down, these questions are perfectly standard.
Daniel
Feels like I'm being attacked! Oh, well, fine by me, attack all you want. I spent the night at my girlfriend's, and she'll verify that.
Jess
That's to be expected from a girlfriend. That she would back you up.
Daniel (sarcastically)
Too bad she wouldn't go for a threesome.
Jess
A threesome would definitely hold more weight. An orgy would be really excellent.
Daniel (sarcastically)
Unfortunately for me there was no one else in our bed last night. And before you ask, no, we don't have a video camera in our bedroom, either.
Jess
Did your mother have a will?
Daniel
Of course she did. And yes, she is leaving the house to me. That's a pretty normal thing to do for a parent with just one child.
Jess
Have you picked a nursing home to move your mom to?
Daniel
Not yet.
Jess
Seems like that's something you wouldn't want to put off until the last minute.
Daniel
And I'm kicking myself for procrastinating, because if I'd moved her to a nursing home already, she'd still be alive. But I was in denial, I guess. And she kept saying she didn't want to go.
Jess
Did she have long-term care insurance?
Daniel
No. Those things are very expensive and they only cover a couple of years in a nursing home. Not worth it. What we do is provide Irena with room and board plus expenses.
Jess
What expenses?
Daniel
Like anything she needs, clothes, gas, use of a car.
Jess
No salary?
Daniel
No. Just expenses.
Jess
I don't suppose she reports her income to the IRS?
Daniel
There isn't really any income.
Jess
Renting a room in this town costs at least $600 a month, so she should have reported at least that much and paid self-employment tax.
Daniel (angrily)
Poor woman is below poverty! And you want to rob her of the little bit she has!
Any way, this is no longer an issue. She will be moving out shortly. And if you have a heart at all, you would not report her!
Jess
She doesn't have to worry about me. Thank you for your time. That will be all. Please leave your contact information with my assistant for in case we have any more questions for you. Again, my sincere condolences.
Jess takes the teapot and leaves the room. Matt approaches Daniel with his cellphone ready.
Scene 2. Case solved.
Matt walks into Jess's office carrying two lattes, a small paper bag and some napkins. He puts the lattes and the napkins on the desk, holds the open end of the bag towards Jess.
Matt
A chocolate croissant for you, detective, and a donut for me. In accordance with our ranks.
Jess smiles, reaches into the bag and takes out his croissant. He bites into the pastry and sips from his paper cup.
Jess
Shut the door please and sit down.
Matt does that.
Jess
I solved the case.
Matt
In just a couple of hours! That's got to be your new record.
Jess
It's quite simple. The victim needs to go to a nursing home. Medicare doesn't pay for nursing homes. She'll have to apply for Medicaid. Medicaid would put a Recovery lien on her house and when she died, the house would have to be sold to pay for all her medical expenses, every toilet paper roll she used. In such a case, most likely, her son would get nothing left over from the sale of the house. But now he inherits the house, which would sell for over $400,000.
Matt
But Daniel didn't want her to go to nursing home. He didn't even bother to look into those.
Jess
Exactly. As I just explained, it wasn't a good option.
Matt
So Daniel has the motive. But there were only caregiver's fingerprints, from when the stars was put up originally.
Jess
He is not an idiot, he wore gloves.
Matt
Okay. But he didn't get back to the house until after the caregiver found the old lady and called him!
Jess
That's exactly how he'd want it to look. However, the caregiver was unusually sleepy after they all had tea together. I think he put something in that tea to make the caregiver sleep deeper than normal.
Matt
The forensics found nothing.
Jess
I'm sure he scrubbed the teapot with soap to be sure.
Matt
Ok, we still have nada.
Jess
Here's what happened: Daniel slipped out in the middle of the night from his girlfriend's side, who also slept extra soundly after drinking his special tea blend. He came back to the house to choke the victim and left again.
Matt
But we couldn't prove it in a million years.
Jess
If he brought his cellphone with him, there is a location history on it. Unless he turned it off in settings, but most people don't bother, or don't even know it's there.
Matt
Awesome! Let's get a warrant to look at his phone.
Jess
You haven't been eating your donut?
Matt
Oh, right.
Matt takes a bite of the donut, washes it down with a latte.
Jess
When I said I solved the case, I came to a conclusion, but not what I originally thought. It wasn't murder, it was an assisted suicide agreed on between the mother and son.
Matt
How do you figure?
Jess
The victim had three times the amount of sleeping pills in her blood.
Matt
If she wanted to die why wouldn't she take the whole bottle all at once!
Jess
Remember: the caregiver was in charge of medications and made Vera open her mouth to make sure she swallowed the pill.
Matt
Then how did the old lady get the extra pills?
Jess
It would have been very difficult to do. Maybe she started saving the pills before the caregiver started checking her mouth. Or maybe some nights she didn't check. Or maybe Daniel asked his doctor to prescribe him some.
Matt
If he did, he could have given her the whole bottle at once.
Jess
No. It would be too obvious that she got them from him. She had just barely enough sleeping pills not to wake up when she couldn't breathe. He might have even had to hold a pillow over her face to be sure.
Matt
That 's awful! I could never do it to my mom.
Jess
Not even if she was dying and in a lot of pain? Besides, she was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's. So she had to hurry before she forgot to do it.
Matt (mouth full with the remainder of the donut)
But assisted suicide isn't legal in our state.
Jess
Correct. But don't you think it should be?
Matt
I guess... I never really gave it much thought. But we have to follow the law. So do I go get the warrant for his phone?
Jess
Well, it would be the only possible evidence that would count, but only if he hadn't disabled the locations history setting. But he would have, wouldn't he?
Matt
Yeah, that's probably what he did. I mean, if he was smart about everything else, he'd have been about this too.
Jess
So it would seem a waste of time and resources to bother getting a warrant. Especially now with de-funding the police situation. Unless we could know for sure beforehand.
Matt
Yeah, why don't I just call and ask him.
Matt opens the folder, looks up Daniel's number, picks up the phone and dials.
Matt
Is this Daniel? … This is Matt, the detective's assistant. I have a quick question for you. Do you by any chance have locations history setting disabled on your cellphone? … Yeah, phones do that. … Yeah, I didn't know that either. … Oh, ok, thanks. That's all. Bye.
Matt hangs up the phone and looks up at Jess, who almost chokes on his croissant, while suppressing laughter.
Matt
What? … Ohhh, you tricked me, didn't you?
Jess
No-o-o, never. I just wanted to make sure we weren't using the taxpayers' money irresponsibly.
Jess picks up the folder and hands it to Matt.
Jess
Just file this as not having sufficient evidence to come to any conclusions other than an unfortunate accident.
Matt
Yes detective.
Matt leaves the office with a folder.
The end.
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