An episode for the series Escape Into the Future.
In this episode Johnny visits a future where the humans evolved into four sexes: the male and female Breeders, the Drones, and the Butterflies.
In this episode Johnny visits a future where the humans evolved into four sexes: the male and female Breeders, the Drones, and the Butterflies.
Characters:
Johnny
Breeder – a
very out of shape guy
Butterfies 1 (Fluffy), 2, 3 – hot gay guys dressed to seduce
_______________________________________________
Darkness. The Time machine makes a whew
whew sound.
Lights on
Johnny comes
out unto a street in some distant future. 3 or more gay guys, dressed in
bright colors, tight short shorts, skirts, g-strings, etc.
stand milling about – they are the Butterflies (Butts). They all stare at him
with amazement, surround him.
Butt
1
What is he wearing!
Butt
2 (to Johnny)
You’d starve to death dressed like
that!
Johnny
And you’d freeze to death.
Butt
2
Could
he be a drone?
Butt
1
He’s
no drone! Look at the lump in his pants!
Johnny
(to Butt 1)
You
got no business staring at my crotch!
Butt
3 (to other Butts)
Maybe this is a new butch look.
Butt
1 (to Johnny)
Honey, are you a Breeder?
Johnny
When I’m with the right gal.
Butt
2 and 3 together
What! What’s that mean?
Butt
1
No way. He’s too cute and skinny for a
breeder.
Butt
2
Yeah, I think he’s just an extra butch
butt.
Johnny
(yells at Butt 2)
Did you just call me an ass, asshole!
Butt
2
No, no! Butt – short for Butterfly.
Johnny
You called me a bug!
Butt
1 (pushes Butt 2 aside)
I think he has amnesia. I’ll take him
under my wing.
Butt
2 and 3 together
You do that, girlfriend!
Butt
1 (to Johnny)
Come on, follow me.
Butterfly 1 and Johnny enter a room. (Other Butterflies could possibly
follow at director’s discretion.) There is a couch or a recliner, where a
Breeder is lounging with his laptop in front of him. A table laden with snacks stands near. Butt 1 flits to the
Breeder and sits on his lap.
Breeder
Hello
Fluffy. How about you just help
yourself to the snacks. I’m not in the mood.
Butt
Fluffy
You
always say that, and I always get you in the mood, you lazy boy, you.
Fluffy starts
caressing the Breeder. Breeder
looks past Fluffy and notices Johnny. He is visibly excited.
Breeder
(brushes Fluffy’s hands away, points to Johnny)
I
want him! He’s cute!
Johnny
I don’t do boys.
Breeder
What!
Fluffy
I think he has amnesia. He doesn’t
know who he is.
Breeder
Let’s find out!
(to
Johnny)
Drop your pants, let’s see it.
Johnny
Just tell me what to look for and I’ll
check.
Breeder
Hmm, he must really have amnesia. I
sure hope he is a butt.
(points to Johnny’s crotch)
What do you have in there?
Johnny
Dick, balls.
Breeder
(hopefully)
Anything else?
Johnny
Asshole.
Breeder
What do you have in between the dick
and the asshole?
Johnny
Nothing. Skin.
Breeder
Damn.
Fluffy
(to Johnny)
Are you sure?
Johnny
Of course I’m sure.
Fluffy
When did you last check? Did you check
after you lost your memory?
Breeder
Just to be sure, would you check?
Johnny puts
his hand deep in his trousers, checks.
Johnny
Same
as always – dick, balls, asshole.
Breeder
sighs unhappily, makes pouty face.
Johnny
So
what does it mean for me?
Breeder
You’ll get an apartment and a laptop
and lay around all day, surfing the net and watching movies. Butterflies like
Fluffy here will come in to service you. You feed them, and let them crash in your
living room for the night. You
don’t have to worry about getting up to set the table. The drones do all that.
Johnny
Drones?
Breeder
Yeah, the worker bees. They do
cleaning and shopping and stuff.
Johnny
My amnesia thing must be pretty bad –
I feel like I’m hearing all this for the first time. Tell me, what are the
differences between the breeders, butterflies and drones?
Breeder
Okay. Breeders can be males or
females. Butterflies have both
male and female organs, but they are neither. They pollinate. They take the
sperm from the male breeders inside themselves and then go inseminate the
female breeders with it. Drones
have no sexual organs at all, so they do all the work.
Johnny
Why?
Breeder
and Fluffy together
Why what?
Johnny
Why don’t the male breeders inseminate
the female breeders themselves?
Breeder
Euuuuwwww! Gross!
Fluffy
If it were left up to them, human race
would die out!
Breeder
(holds up fingers, folding them as he lists)
That’s right! I certainly wouldn’t
want to: a) exercise and diet to look hot, b) get up and go somewhere, c) fuck
an ugly female breeder, and last, but not least, d) I wouldn’t want to put any
effort into fucking. Sex should be a relaxing experience with a beautiful and
experienced butterfly, who does all the work, letting you lay back and enjoy.
Like in nature – flowers just sit there, and butterflies flit from flower to
flower to flower...
Johnny
Flowers are pretty and smell nice…
Breeder
Well, we don’t have to worry about
that, cause we the breeders are all the same. We all lay around all day,
snacking and playing video games. We are all equally fat, ugly, sweaty and
scruffy. Speaking of which, how
did you get to be in such good shape? Are you one of them revolutionaries!
Fluffy
Oh my god! A revolutionary! Why didn’t
I think of that! Message the news crew right away!
Breeder (typing
furiously and hitting Send)
We’re going to be famous! How often
does one get to meet a real revolutionary! I bet he got amnesia when he was hit
on the head during a demonstration!
Fluffy
Oh my god! Oh my god!
Johnny
Wait! What do they do to a
revolutionary here? Do I want to be one?
Fluffy
Oh yes, honey! It’s great to be a revolutionary! You’d
be on the news and talk shows and everyone will want you!
Johnny
I don’t see how it’s a good thing to
be wanted by a bunch of fat, sweaty, ugly people.
Fluffy
All the Butterflies will want you,
silly! Breeders don’t do any wanting. They live through us vicariously.
Johnny
I’m not too keen on being wanted by a
bunch of girls with dicks either. I’m splitting…
Breeder
Splitting? Like an amoeba! Are you the
new mysterious fifth sex! Wow! That’s way cooler than a revolutionary!
BIRDS & THE BEES
Characters:
Professor
Johnny
Breeder – a
very out of shape guy
Butterfies
1, 2, 3 – hot gay guys or transsexuals dressed to seduce
Hottie – a
sexy female of the future
______________________________________________________________________________
Lights on
Professor is
working. Enters Johnny.
Johnny
I came about the ad - about the
volunteer to travel into the future.
Prof
Excellent!
Johnny
Is it safe?
Prof
I tested it on cats. I sent them
forward and waited for time to catch up to their time. They appear perfectly
normal. There goes one of them,
see…
The
cat
Woof,
woof.
Johnny
It barked!
Prof
A minor glitch.
Johnny
I guess I’d rather bark than be dead…
Let’s do it.
Prof
Excellent, come over here. Get in.
Johnny
How does it work?
Prof
(gives him sunglasses)
Photons. I make every tiny particle of
your body make tiny jumps faster than the speed of light. Very tiny leaps back
and forth, back and forth. Put the sunglasses on, the light gets pretty bright
in there.
Johnny
What do I use for fuel?
Prof
You don’t need fuel, it is solar
powered.
Johnny
Okay, send me about 50 years forward,
that should do it.
Prof
No, no, I’m only going to send you
forward a couple of minutes, so I know it works on a human.
Johnny (pulls out a gun points at professor)
Where are the controls, how I turn it
on?
Prof
(stuttering, shows Johnny the remote)
I ad-dapted th-the tv remote. T-the Power button turns it on or off.
Johnny
(grabs the remote from Professor)
How do I tell it how far to go into
the future?
Prof
Th-the f-fast forward button. The longer you hold it, the farther you
go.
Johnny
Can I use Rewind to go back?
Prof
It only goes forward. I haven’t
figured out how to go back…
Johnny
I want spare batteries for the remote.
Now!
Professor
hands over some batteries. Johnny
gets into the Time Machine.
Lights
out. The time machine makes a whew
whew sound.
Lights on
Johnny comes
out unto a street in some distant future. A few hot gay guys, all dressed in
bright colors, tight short shorts, skimpy tops, some in skirts, g-strings, etc.
stand milling about – they are the Butterflies (Butts). They all stare at him
with amazement, surround him.
Butt
1
What is he wearing!
Butt
2 (to Johnny)
You’d starve to death dressed like
that!
Johnny
And you’d freeze to death.
Butt
2
Could
he be a drone?
Butt
1
He’s
no drone! Look at the lump in his pants!
Johnny
(to Butt 1)
You
got no business staring at my crotch!
Butt
3 (to other Butts)
Maybe this is a new butch look.
Butt
1 (to Johnny)
Honey, are you a Breeder?
Johnny
When I’m with the right gal.
Butt
2 and 3 together
What! What’s that mean?
Butt
1
No way. He’s too cute and skinny for a
breeder.
Butt
2
Yeah, I think he’s just an extra butch
butt.
Johnny
(yells at Butt 2)
Did you just call me an ass, asshole!
Butt
2
No, no! Butt – short for Butterfly.
Johnny
You called me a bug!
Butt
1 (pushes Butt 2 aside)
I think he has amnesia. I’ll take him
under my wing.
Butt
2 and 3 together
You do that, girlfriend!
Butt
1 (to Johnny)
Come on, follow me.
Butterfly 1 and Johnny enter a room. (Other Butterflies could possibly
follow at director’s discretion.) There is a couch or a recliner, where a
Breeder is lounging with his laptop in front of him. A table laden with snacks stands near. Butt 1 flits to the
Breeder and sits on his lap.
Breeder
Hello
Fluffy. How about you just help
yourself to the snacks. I’m not in the mood.
Butt
Fluffy
You
always say that, and I always get you in the mood, you lazy boy, you.
Fluffy starts
caressing the Breeder. Breeder
looks past Fluffy and notices Johnny. He is visibly excited.
Breeder
(brushes Fluffy’s hands away, points to Johnny)
I
want him! He’s cute!
Johnny
I don’t do boys.
Breeder
What!
Fluffy
I think he has amnesia. He doesn’t
know who he is.
Breeder
Let’s find out!
(to
Johnny)
Drop your pants, let’s see it.
Johnny
Just tell me what to look for and I’ll
check.
Breeder
Hmm, he must really have amnesia. I
sure hope he is a butt.
(points to Johnny’s crotch)
What do you have in there?
Johnny
Dick, balls.
Breeder
(hopefully)
Anything else?
Johnny
Asshole.
Breeder
What do you have in between the dick
and the asshole?
Johnny
Nothing. Skin.
Breeder
Damn.
Fluffy
(to Johnny)
Are you sure?
Johnny
Of course I’m sure.
Fluffy
When did you last check? Did you check
after you lost your memory?
Breeder
Just to be sure, would you check?
Johnny puts
his hand deep in his trousers, checks.
Johnny
Same
as always – dick, balls, asshole.
Breeder
sighs unhappily, makes pouty face.
Johnny
So
what does it mean for me?
Breeder
You’ll get an apartment and a laptop
and lay around all day, surfing the net and watching movies. Butterflies like
Fluffy here will come in to service you. You feed them, and let them crash in your
living room for the night. You
don’t have to worry about getting up to set the table. The drones do all that.
Johnny
Drones?
Breeder
Yeah, the worker bees. They do
cleaning and shopping and stuff.
Johnny
My amnesia thing must be pretty bad –
I feel like I’m hearing all this for the first time. Tell me, what are the
differences between the breeders, butterflies and drones?
Breeder
Okay. Breeders can be males or
females. Butterflies have both
male and female organs, but they are neither. They pollinate. They take the
sperm from the male breeders inside themselves and then go inseminate the
female breeders with it. Drones
have no sexual organs at all, so they do all the work.
Johnny
Why?
Breeder
and Fluffy together
Why what?
Johnny
Why don’t the male breeders inseminate
the female breeders themselves?
Breeder
Euuuuwwww! Gross!
Fluffy
If it were left up to them, human race
would die out!
Breeder
(holds up fingers, folding them as he lists)
That’s right! I certainly wouldn’t
want to: a) exercise and diet to look hot, b) get up and go somewhere, c) fuck
an ugly female breeder, and last, but not least, d) I wouldn’t want to put any
effort into fucking. Sex should be a relaxing experience with a beautiful and
experienced butterfly, who does all the work, letting you lay back and enjoy.
Like in nature – flowers just sit there, and butterflies flit from flower to
flower to flower...
Johnny
Flowers are pretty and smell nice…
Breeder
Well, we don’t have to worry about
that, cause we the breeders are all the same. We all lay around all day,
snacking and playing video games. We are all equally fat, ugly, sweaty and
scruffy. Speaking of which, how
did you get to be in such good shape? Are you one of them revolutionaries!
Fluffy
Oh my god! A revolutionary! Why didn’t
I think of that! Message the news crew right away!
Breeder (typing
furiously and hitting Send)
We’re going to be famous! How often
does one get to meet a real revolutionary! I bet he got amnesia when he was hit
on the head during a demonstration!
Fluffy
Oh my god! Oh my god!
Johnny
Wait! What do they do to a
revolutionary here? Do I want to be one?
Fluffy
Oh yes, honey! It’s great to be a revolutionary! You’d
be on the news and talk shows and everyone will want you!
Johnny
I don’t see how it’s a good thing to
be wanted by a bunch of fat, sweaty, ugly people.
Fluffy
All the Butterflies will want you,
silly! Breeders don’t do any wanting. They live through us vicariously.
Johnny
I’m not too keen on being wanted by a
bunch of girls with dicks either. I’m splitting…
Breeder
Splitting? Like an amoeba! Are you the
new mysterious fifth sex! Wow! That’s way cooler than a revolutionary!
Johnny
(starts to leave)
That’s it! I’m out of here!
Breeder
and Fluffy (yelling together)
But the news crew is on its way!
Breeder
I want to watch you procreate by
splitting! And it needs to be filmed!
Fluffy
Please, at least one interview!
Johnny
Bye.
Johnny runs out.
Lights out
Johnny
(starts to leave)
That’s it! I’m out of here!
Breeder
and Fluffy (yelling together)
But the news crew is on its way!
Breeder
I want to watch you procreate by
splitting! And it needs to be filmed!
Fluffy
Please, at least one interview!
Johnny
Bye.
Johnny runs out.
Lights out
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