The Mutants

In a distant future the men are kept locked up in special maximum security camps, because the world is a much safer and better place without them...

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LIST OF CHARACTERS

Kylie/Shadow – a young and beautiful woman
Steel – female, Secret Service Officer
Eagle Eye – Secret Service operative
Bob – a man
Dick – a man
Big Shot – female, Secret Service Manager

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Lights out.

Sound of a baby crying.

Voice over
It’s a Mutant. Get it out of here!

Crying of the baby fades out.

Lights on.

Kylie is applying for the Secret Service job. The officer Steel is interviewing her.

Steel
So you feel you’re ready to forgo your personal needs completely and to serve the people for the rest of your life?

Kylie
Yes, I am.

Steel
If you ever changed your mind, we’d have to kill you. Do you accept these terms?

Kylie
I accept.

Steel
Very well. Choose your new name.

Kylie
Shadow.

Steel
Good name. Write it here and sign... Now, why do you think we are called The Protectors?

Kylie
We protect people.

Steel
What do we protect them from?

Kylie
Criminals, drunks, crazy people?

Steel
Sometimes. But mainly we protect our beloved citizens from the stress of too much knowledge. If people knew the terrible secret, there would be such an awful panic, you can’t imagine!

Kylie
What’s the secret?

Steel
The existence of a savage mutant species! The Mutants caused the last great war that almost wiped out the human race, so we must prevent that from happening again at all costs. We keep them contained in quarantine and vigilantly guard the facility.

Shadow
Oh, my god! I had no idea!

Steel
The people we protect need not spoil their happiness by knowing this awful truth. We sacrifice ourselves a 100% for the good of the world and ask for no reward. For the next couple of days you’ll watch many videos showing the horrors the humans had to endure in the distant past. The cruel Mutants tortured and killed humans as if they derived some pleasure from it.

Shadow
This is horrible! And… those mutants, what do they look like?

Steel unrolls a drawing depicting a naked man. She points to the various parts of the drawing with a pointer and explains.

Steel
The Mutants are very ugly, they have ungainly hair growth all over. Physically they are stronger, more animal-like. They can’t have babies. That’s why they enslaved the normal humans for centuries and used them to breed more Mutants and more slaves. This long protrusion here

(Steel points to the penis)

is used to spray their enemies with poison like the Mamba snake, that causes the victim to die in terrible agony. If you ever happen to face a Mutant unzipping his pants – run for dear life!

Shadow
Why not just kill all the evil bastards! Why keep them alive at all?

Steel
Every so often a mutant is born to a perfectly normal human. We ship it immediately to the secret compound and inform the mother that her baby was born dead. Our government is much too humane to murder the infants.

Shadow
Oh, of course! I totally agree!

Steel
They live perfectly happy lives, as the world is kept safe from them... This will be your first assignment: You’ll be assisting in the maternity ward. You will help package the Mutant babies and to load them unto the transport.

Lights out.
Lights on.

Shadow places a baby into the box, carries it off the stage. She comes back on stage empty-handed. Steel walks up to her.

Steel
Shadow, you’ve been doing excellent work. You are promoted to go with the transport. Here...
(she hands Shadow a gun)
In case one of you is tempted to stay behind, the
other one must shoot her and leave immediately. Is that understood?

Shadow
Yes.

Steel
Good. You may go.

Lights out.
Sound of a truck engine, then brakes.
Lights on.

Shadow comes out on stage carrying a box with a baby. Her delivery partner Eagle Eye follows her. Shadow sets the box down. Eagle Eye sits down on the ground next to the box and examines the baby.

Eagle Eye
Doesn’t look at all mutant, maybe the nurse gave us the wrong one?

Shadow
Check it then to be sure.

Eagle Eye opens the diaper and peeks.

Eagle Eye
Eugh! Gross! Take a look.

Shadow
Revolting! Poor child.

Eagle Eye
But otherwise it’s pretty cute. I think we should stay with it until someone comes to pick it up. Just in case.

Shadow
No, it’s against the rules. We must leave immediately.

Eagle Eye
Oh, come on! We can’t just leave it all alone in the middle of nowhere!

Shadow whips out her gun and points it at Eagle Eye.

Shadow
Get up and follow me back to the transport!

Eagle Eye
You wouldn’t dare!

Shadow squeezes the trigger. We hear a click. Shadow examines her gun. Eagle Eye gets up and smiles.

Eagle Eye
Congratulations! You passed the test.

Shadow smiles and puts the gun back at her hip. Both women walk away leaving the box on the stage.

Sound of a truck engine starting and driving off.

Lights out.
Lights on.

Inside the super secret quarantine/labor camp compound two inmates are conspiring holding a shovel.

Bob
Here is the plan; we dig a tunnel and lay in wait for the drop off team, then we jump out and surprise them.

Dick
But they keep changing locations every time. How would we know where to dig?

Bob
What choice do we have! We’ll dig anywhere and wait and one day we might get lucky. Do you have a better idea?

Dick shakes his head.

Lights out.
Lights on.

Shadow places the box with the baby in the middle of the stage. Dick sneaks up on her from behind holding a shovel like a gun, pokes her with it.

Dick
Hands up in the air or I’ll shoot.

She raises her hands up and Dick takes away her gun. Bob comes out on the stage leading Eagle Eye at the point of her gun. Shadow exclaims:

Shadow
The Mutants!

Dick is staring at her spellbound.

Dick (about Shadow)
He is so-o-o beautiful! Look at that skin: so-o smooth and silky! Look at his features – so delicate! Wow!

Bob (to Shadow)
Sorry about that.

Shadow gets up.

Bob
Let’s go.

Eagle Eye (to Shadow)
You must stop breathing! We mustn’t let them take us alive!

Eagle Eye stops breathing and collapses on the ground. Bob checks her pulse.

Bob (surprised)
He’s dead.

Bob and Dick turn their attention to Shadow.

Bob
Do we have to whack you over the head again, so you don’t try anything stupid?

Shadow
I have no intention to end my life just yet. I admit to being a bit curious. I promise not to kill myself unless you start unzipping your pants!

Bob
Don’t worry! We are not animals, we have class.

Shadow
Hmm, that’s not what I’ve seen in the movies about your kind.

Dick
We don’t have any movies about you. You’re the first healthy human anyone of us have ever seen.

Shadow
So what will you do with me?

Bob
Nothing. We have your partner’s body to study and dissect. You’re free to leave.

Shadow
You let me go?

Shadow is not leaving. She is fidgeting.

Shadow
If I go back I will be killed.

Dick
Stay with us then! We'd be happy to have you.

Shadow
I didn't expect the Mutants to be so nice.

Bob
We have a few troublemakers, but we're doing our best to get along. Real sorry about your partner… Dick, help me carry him.

They leave the stage dragging along Eagle Eye’s body, Shadow is carrying the box with the baby.

Lights off.
Lights on.

Dick and Shadow are alone.

Dick
I’m feeling strong feelings for you, Shadow. I know you feel the same way. I can see it in your eyes.

Shadow
I admit I feel something, but it is most likely a very strong repulsion, like stronger than usual. Kind of a weird fascination, like by a snake or a huge toad.

Dick
But I’ve been shaving off all my body hair!

Shadow
It helps, but….

Dick
Try sleeping with me, please! I love you!

Shadow
How do you, mutants, sleep with someone! You don’t have the, you know… the right equipment.

Dick
We can do a lot with it, you’d be surprised.

Shadow
But your thing, the… you know, doesn’t it spit poison? That’s what we were told.

Dick
Really? No, no one has ever been poisoned by it, not even if it’s ingested.

Shadow
Interesting. Maybe it only shoots poison when you’re in the attack mode, like in battle…

Dick
Perhaps. I don’t know. None of us have ever been in battle. But I assure you it’s perfectly safe for sex. Would you like to interview some witnesses? Ask Bob, he ingested plenty…

Lights out
Lights on

Dick is talking to Bob.

Dick
So did you figure out the cure?

Bob
Well, there are some obvious differences in the bodily structures…

Dick
I want to offer myself as an experimental subject. I want you to change me surgically into a healthy human.

Bob
But you won't work! There are some internal organs you don't have, so you won't be able to reproduce.

Dick
I don't care! At least I'll look and function like a normal human, to all appearances.

Bob
If you're doing this to impress Shadow, then you're a fool! Even if the surgery goes perfectly, you'd still not be as beautiful as a normal human. Your bones are too big, your facial features are too rough!

Dick
It still would be better than this! Do it!

Lights out
Lights on

Steel in a Big Shot's office.

Big Shot
We have an emergency! Our sperm banks are empty!

Steel
I don't understand anything. What is sperm?

Big Shot
This is top secret information, it must not go out of this room. Sperm is the stuff we put in baby-making kits, otherwise they wouldn’t work. We get sperm from the so-called Mutants. They are really not Mutants at all - they are men. They produce sperm: it comes out from that thing dangling between their legs. Without sperm we can't have babies.

Steel
Oh my god!

Big Shot
Something went very wrong! All the men at the secret compound had a sex-change operation!

Steel
What's that?

Big Shot
They cut off that thing dangling between their legs!

Steel
Why on earth would they do that!

Big Shot
Yes, why indeed!

Lights out

The end