Characters:
Boo
Jo
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Jo
Hi Boo. How is everyone?
Boo
We are alive.
Jo
That's the main thing.
Boo
It helps having a cat. When I talk to him, he looks into my eyes and, I swear, he understands everything! Sometimes he tries to reply, opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, but it doesn't work, so he gives up.
Jo
That is very cool. My Wooffer does that too. Communication must be an interspecies thing.
Boo
Of course.... Do you wear the EMF protective hoody I got you for your birthday? Whenever you go for a walk with Wooffer?
Jo
I do. Don't worry, I walk in the park under the trees most of the time...
Boo
But you have to cross streets! People are dropping dead everywhere!
Jo
You mean being run over by cars?
Boo
No! From all those microwaves in the air!
Jo
Where are you getting that from?
Boo
I had a dream about it last night. People went outside and dropped dead. Some even evaporated right away, like they never existed.
Jo
If that was really happening, it would have been on the news, or, at least, on Facebook.
Boo
Are you kidding me! Facebook police would delete it right away! Besides, the government is covering it up by blaming Coronavirus for all the dead people, when it's really the satellites and the antennas and the smart meters they put on all the houses. A bunch of scientists all over the world have been writing petitions and warning about this for years! Why do you think the pandemic started in Wuhan! Because it was the first 5G city!
Jo
That was just one of the conspiracy theories which had been disproven.
Boo
And who disproved it! Don't be so naive! In December of 2019 China had the highest rate of diabetes that any other country in the world! And they were the first to implement 5G!
Jo
Diabetes is caused by eating too much junk food.
Boo
Skinny and starving people, and the young people, and even kids get diabetes in China!
Jo
That's because they eat too much rice.
Boo
They've been eating rice for thousands of years and it was never an issue. I'm telling you, it's the EMF, not food. In 1980 diabetes was less than 1% in China and in 2013 it jumped up to 11%. That's huge! They ate just as much rice in 1980 as in 2013.
Jo
Maybe something else happened. Like McDonalds?
Boo
Let's google it real quick....
(clicking keyboard keys while talking)
'What year did McDonalds open restaurants in China... '
In 1990....
(clicking keyboard keys all the time while talking)
Ok, check this out: McDonalds opened in 1990 and, true, the rate of diabetes increased to 2.5% in 1994. But then 3G rolled out in 2009 and right away the diabetes jumped up to 11% in 2010!
And then 5G rolls out in Wuhan, which is a capitol of Hubei province, and thousands drop dead in Hubei province, but not in the other provinces. Coincidence? No way! Look, I'm googling it now: Hubei province has had a total of 68,000 cases of coronavirus, while all other provinces only 5,000 all together, and Hubei had 4,500 deaths, while all other provinces totaled only 35 people dead! Wow! Still think it's a coincidence? This virus probably would have been completely harmless to people without the EMF radiation to lower immunity.
Jo
Hmmm. I don't know what to think, but I'll wear the EMF sweatshirt just to be safe, promise. I'll even get one for Wooffer. Did you get one for Samson?
Boo
I made him one, but he won't wear it. Cats aren't like dogs, they don't like wearing clothes. It was hard enough to force a collar on him with a shungite pendant on it. Shungite is this cool rock from Russia that helps to protect you from EMF.
Jo
Is it a pretty rock?
Boo
Not really, it's flat black, very plain. But I wear it to work, since you can't wear a sweatshirt to work.
Jo
You have a lot of EMF at work?
Boo
They have put up a bunch of 5G antennas along the MLK! They look like something demonic – black poles, smooth, tapered toward the top. Have you seen them yet? About every 30 feet... How can they even justify the cost of putting these things everywhere? They must have some horrible master plan for all that... You know what I think they'll do with them?
Jo
What?
Boo
They will have a curfew one day from like 10pm to 5am, and then they'll blast the city that night with microwaves. And then all the homeless people and all the bums sleeping in the doorways and all the party animals walking to 7-11 to get beer and cigarettes, they all will be evaporated. Then in the early morning, while it's still dark, a crew of special garbage trucks will collect all the bodies and empty tents, and burn them all. And any relatives or friends of those people will be told that they died of Covid-19.
Jo
Wow. That would make an awesome episode for Black Mirror. You really should be a writer.
Boo
I am.
Jo
A real writer who gets paid.
Boo
You know perfectly well that being able to write and having sales abilities are very different things.
Jo
And the proof of it: “Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink”, that's how I feel about Netflix and Amazon Prime, and the new releases bookshelves.
Boo
What makes it especially sad, is that everyone is sitting home and needs entertainment.
Jo
Drink more. Things will seem more entertaining.
Boo
Yep. Hey! Grocery Outlet has pretty decent Rose for only $2.99 a bottle! Run over there before it's all gone.
Jo
Cheap domestic wines contain about 50 parts per billion of glyphosate. Organic wines do too, but only like 4 parts per billion.
Boo
It's the cheap wine from California and full of roundup. But I'm only drinking last night and tonight, since I have to work Monday morning.
Jo
Yeah, but you drink a whole bottle at once. Not like you only have one glass at dinner.
Boo
One glass at dinner is a waste of good wine! And bad cheap wine too. You have to be able to taste it, and to feel something, at least.
Jo
I see your point... Hey, I'll talk to you later. Wooffy needs to go out.
Boo
Put that sweatshirt on before you go!
Jo
Sit Wooffer, sit. Good boy. Do you really think that EMF radiation I get walking Wooffy is worse than a bottle of glyphosate wine for 2.99?
Boo
Of course it's worse! It affects your whole body at once. The wine only flows through the pipes and comes out the other end pretty quick. And if you divide the wine in a bottle in billion parts, how much wine would 50 of those parts be? I'd say, so little, that it would have no chance in hell of getting through my stomach lining...
Jo
Wooffy really needs to pee! He's like dancing in place... I will put on the hoody, I promise. Got to go! Bye.
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