REINCARNATION WAIT STATION

 Characters:

Rita - female

Murka – a middle-aged person

Rita stands in the middle of nothingness wearing a pajama, looking around. Murka walks up to her.

Rita

This is weird... Am I dead?

Murka

Yep, dead as a doornail. Was it the virus?

Rita

No. The stupid Covid vaccine! I kept refusing it as long as I could, but they were going to fire me. I should have let them!

What is this place? Hell, heaven?

Murka

Neither. You stop here for a moment before you reincarnate.

Rita

I see.

Murka

Do you recognize me?

Rita

Nope. Should I?

Murka

I'm Murka.

Rita

That was the name of my last cat.

Murka

I was your cat.

Rita

But you're a person.

Murka

I had to spend my last reincarnation as a cat to pay for my selfishness and laziness.

Rita

I'm sorry... And... I am really, really sorry about not putting you to sleep! I kept hoping for a miracle.

Murka

Such miracles only happen to people and cats who want to live.

Rita

I didn't know, I'm sorry.

Murka

Yes you did! I was very obviously in pain! At least you could have given me more pain meds! My head was killing me. Ha, ha, pun intended.

Rita

I'm so sorry! I gave it as often as it said on the box is okay.

Murka

You should have given me the whole box at once! It was too late to worry about the dose.

Rita

Please, forgive me. Please!

Murka

Sure. No problem. I'm glad it's over - being a cat.

Rita

Really? I thought cats had such nice lives. Eating and sleeping and being waited on.

Murka

It was super boring. You wouldn't let me go outside!

Rita

That was for your own good.

Murka

And you wore headphones when watching movies!

Rita

I had to because of the neighbors.

Murka

How was I supposed to follow the story without hearing anything?

Rita

I'm sorry.

Murka

And you spanked me!

Rita

You pooped on the rug!

Murka

How else was I supposed to get your attention?

Rita

What were you trying to tell me?

Murka

That you had to clean my sandbox right after I pooped, every time I pooped.

Rita

You were supposed to bury your poop!

Murka

That's gross!

Rita

You could have tried going into the toilet, like a person. Other cats do that.

Murka

One has to be taught that.

Rita

Not necessarily. Grandma's Pikachoo did it without being trained.

Murka

He visited the neighbors and saw their cat doing it.

Rita

How would you know that?

Murka

I met him here.

Rita

Is he a person too?

Murka

Yes he is. And back to being one. Not your grandma, however. She was reincarnated as a cat.

Rita

What animal did Hitler get reincarnated as?

Murka

A Labradoodle.

Rita

Seems like a rat or a cockroach would have been more appropriate.

Murka

Not at all. He wouldn't have learned anything as those creatures.

Dogs and cats, and sometimes horses or donkeys, are the customary vehicles for humans to reincarnate into.

Rita

Do you by any chance know what's going to happen to me?

Murka

Yes. You're going to be a cat. My cat.

The end.