Characters:
Rita - female
Murka – a middle-aged person
Rita stands in the middle of nothingness wearing a pajama, looking around. Murka walks up to her.
Rita
This is weird... Am I dead?
Murka
Yep, dead as a doornail. Was it the virus?
Rita
No. The stupid Covid vaccine! I kept refusing it as long as I could, but they were going to fire me. I should have let them!
What is this place? Hell, heaven?
Murka
Neither. You stop here for a moment before you reincarnate.
Rita
I see.
Murka
Do you recognize me?
Rita
Nope. Should I?
Murka
I'm Murka.
Rita
That was the name of my last cat.
Murka
I was your cat.
Rita
But you're a person.
Murka
I had to spend my last reincarnation as a cat to pay for my selfishness and laziness.
Rita
I'm sorry... And... I am really, really sorry about not putting you to sleep! I kept hoping for a miracle.
Murka
Such miracles only happen to people and cats who want to live.
Rita
I didn't know, I'm sorry.
Murka
Yes you did! I was very obviously in pain! At least you could have given me more pain meds! My head was killing me. Ha, ha, pun intended.
Rita
I'm so sorry! I gave it as often as it said on the box is okay.
Murka
You should have given me the whole box at once! It was too late to worry about the dose.
Rita
Please, forgive me. Please!
Murka
Sure. No problem. I'm glad it's over - being a cat.
Rita
Really? I thought cats had such nice lives. Eating and sleeping and being waited on.
Murka
It was super boring. You wouldn't let me go outside!
Rita
That was for your own good.
Murka
And you wore headphones when watching movies!
Rita
I had to because of the neighbors.
Murka
How was I supposed to follow the story without hearing anything?
Rita
I'm sorry.
Murka
And you spanked me!
Rita
You pooped on the rug!
Murka
How else was I supposed to get your attention?
Rita
What were you trying to tell me?
Murka
That you had to clean my sandbox right after I pooped, every time I pooped.
Rita
You were supposed to bury your poop!
Murka
That's gross!
Rita
You could have tried going into the toilet, like a person. Other cats do that.
Murka
One has to be taught that.
Rita
Not necessarily. Grandma's Pikachoo did it without being trained.
Murka
He visited the neighbors and saw their cat doing it.
Rita
How would you know that?
Murka
I met him here.
Rita
Is he a person too?
Murka
Yes he is. And back to being one. Not your grandma, however. She was reincarnated as a cat.
Rita
What animal did Hitler get reincarnated as?
Murka
A Labradoodle.
Rita
Seems like a rat or a cockroach would have been more appropriate.
Murka
Not at all. He wouldn't have learned anything as those creatures.
Dogs and cats, and sometimes horses or donkeys, are the customary vehicles for humans to reincarnate into.
Rita
Do you by any chance know what's going to happen to me?
Murka
Yes. You're going to be a cat. My cat.
The end.
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